Programmer Sex

So…. I’m sitting around in #teenlug (irc.freenode.net) and I decide that I want to piss fophillips off :)… so I strike up a conversation about how stupidly laborious C is as compared to Ruby and it suddenly strikes me! Programming languages are a lot like sex… here are the analogies:

  • Ruby is like vaginal sex. It feels natural, good and it runs nice and smoothly; it does what you ask it to and when it complains it gives you a real reason. You have to learn what you’re doing but it’s like riding a bike, you never forget. Ruby has some lube included so you don’t need to fumble about applying loads of 3rd party libraries as in C.
  • C is like anal sex. It’s hard, rough and only for the experienced. Sometimes it can get very tough, hurt a bit and take some effort. Unlike Ruby, C doesn’t come with lube and so you have to apply a lot of 3rd party libs otherwise it can be very painful. You’ve got to be very careful with C as STIs as a result of buffer overflows are very common. Some guys are into it though!

For both C and Ruby you can buy wacky sex toys (like exotic libraries) but they’re really not necessary and only enhance the act.

  • VB (and other .net languages) is a lot like oral sex – Loads of people are into it, it’s easy, fast and pleasurable but at the end of the day you’re not in control and you can end up getting your cock bitten off.
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2 Responses to Programmer Sex

  1. powersparks says:

    funny funny funny.
    great analogy.
    keep it coming…or going..err… it makes sense.

  2. dedeibel says:

    hehe – thanks for the laugh! 🙂

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